Graph of super-zombies, spooky religion & choose your own fictional afterlife
I always had a hunch that Jesus McChrist was a super-zombie. Spear him in the side and crucify him, but he’ll just come back to life. Except Jason, Myers and the other super-zombies won’t show up to your party, daring you to stick your finger in their wound holes. Pretty gross, Son of God!
If you choose to live in superstitious fear of a resurrected monster, I would personally pick a more realistic mythology…like zombies. Honestly, the old and the new testaments both read like poorly compiled horror anthologies. And how silly and uncreative is the concept of hell? Oooh, a fiery pit of endless torment straight out of my worst imaginings: Like watching a never ending romantic comedy? Or getting trapped in a Walmart without exits? Or being forced to listen to a hateful & narcissistic televangelist drone on about who does and doesn’t hold the golden ticket to heaven? No thanks, I’d rather be a mindless cannibal.
Z-Props to Blag Hag
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