I imagine aliens must know what they are doing if they are capable of controlling and consuming the whole zombie race, though I can’t imagine that a decomposing monster would taste very good. Aliens must have a futuristic spice rack of herbs and seasonings to prepare the undead properly. Is there an alien cooking channel?  Surely there’s an alien equivalent of Anthony Bourdain, some snarky but talented tentacled chef who shows the other aliens how best to serve a cannibal corpse at important alien get-togethers. You know, when the alien in-laws arrive during the stressful alien holidays demanding perfectly steamed zombie fingers and lightly fried zombie toes.

What scares me about the intergalactic food pyramid is that plants and vegetables are left untouched by aliens, leaving the immune carrots, beets and collard greens to evolve into giant sentient carnivores. After sprouting arms, legs and their own form of plant-to-plant communication, monster veg will reduce major cities to rubble, overwhelm the zombie population (which is incapable of battling giant grapefruit and fanged asparagus), and thus the alien vs. vegetable wars begin!

Z-Props to FFFFound & young zombie-killer Lucinda.

]]> http://www.thinkzombie.com/2009/11/29/zombiealien-food-pyramid/feed/ 0 http://www.thinkzombie.com/2009/11/04/316/ http://www.thinkzombie.com/2009/11/04/316/#comments Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:56:55 +0000 funkypope http://www.thinkzombie.com/?p=316 Try a delicious zombie hand! The nails and bones are made of onion. How mouth-watering is that?

Eating zombies hasn’t occurred to me since SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD. Don’t bite that Z-Boy, you don’t know where he’s been.

Z-Props to NotMartha.org and special thanks to my corpse bride, Clee.

Land of the Dead poster

George primarily sticks with what he knows. Commentaries on social & economic class warfare get delivered in dump truck-sized doses. The wealthy few have managed to hole themselves up in a mall/condo/high rise called Fidler’s Green, an island protected by water on all sides, all made possible by Kaufman (the enterprising capitalist played by the impossibly difficult Dennis Hopper). Everyone else who managed to survive this long is relegated to the drug and disease-ridden slums surrounding Fidler’s Green.

John Lequizombie

As an aside, exactly one month before the June 2005 release of LAND OF THE DEAD, the ensemble genre blending hip-hop troupe THE GORILLAZ released DEMON DAYS which rocks. And how could the album suck with guest spots from some of the industry’s greatest: MF DOOM, Dangermouse, Roots Manuva and Del tha Funky Homosapien to name a few? With heavy sampling of tracks from GOBLIN and Dario Argento’s music

composition from the original DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978), DEMON DAYS remains an impressive tribute to zombie myth and culture. In addition to overt z-tracks like LAST LIVING SOULS, the album contained a strange song called FIRE COMING OUT OF THE MONKEY’S HEAD, which is basically a dark fairy tale narrated by weirdo alien-sent-to-earth Dennis Hopper.

As Romero expands on his own zombie mythos, braking previously established rules, as the undead learn to communicate with gestures and problem solve while mastering tools and weapons. Romero implies that zombies feel empathy towards each other and simply desire to survive. Damn those zombie peaceniks!

While he occasionally employs gorgeous gore via timeless practical effects, Romero opts for CGI more than ever before, with questionable results which already show their age. George returns to the basics in DAIRY OF THE DEAD but will no doubt be forever haunted by the melodramatic z-parody that is John Leguizombie’s performance.

Now is the perfect time to indulge in some back-from-the-grave confections.

“CAN-YOU-DIG-IT?!” -Cyrus

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Y’ALL!