Trust any movie that allows for a slow motion father-son zombie sack race. Zombieland stays goofy like Evil Dead II while constantly supplying high quality bile-spewing gore. Coming from backgrounds in music videos, late night talk shows & reality TV, the director/writers team decided to segment cinematic moments into mini rock n’ roll montages. Perfect for a zombie fan with a short attention span.

Normally I shutter at the Hollywood habit of gluing disjointed episodes together and charging box office prices, as was the case of the wayward Resident Evil movie franchise. Here, it works!

Zombieland holds up from start to end, most especially for those well-versed in the mythic language of the zombie. Jesse Eisenberg narrates in a coming-of-age tone a la Wonder Years, plainly laying out the rules to survival in a post-human world dominated by the walking dead using a playfully comic motion graphic text. My favorite rule: “Double Tap” -– meaning committing one extra bullet or blunt object-to-the-head in order to make extra sure that Mr. Zombie doesn’t relive for a final dramatic attack.

Zombies of this world maneuver with inconsistent speed and intelligence. Director Ruben Fleischer explained that each zombie turns at a different stage of rigamortis and decay, thus producing a variety of zombies types. Zombieland is not going to change your political outlook or stop you from fucking that chicken. What it will do is entertain both the horror novice and the most jaded zombie expert.

There’s a wonderful celebrity zombie cameo… Don’t look it up, just see the damn movie!

Q: What famous zombie would you like to be eaten by?
I wouldn’t mind being disemboweled by past U.S. presidents like Zombie JFK or Zombie Lincoln.

The Revenant (2009)

I’m a little dazed after so much weird, wild, violent, sexy, scary cinema. No, really. I’m quasi-delirious and am a bit unsure as to what is reality and what I saw in the dark of the matinee theater. The other day my wife caught me referring to a story I claimed was told to me by “a friend.” She had to explain that my friend’s anecdote wasn’t real but rather from a fictional film character in one of the movies we’ve seen at Fantastic Fest.

I reacted with a resounding, “Shit, I could have sworn that really happened!”

The wise festival programmers of the Alamo Drafthouse continue to refer to the type of bizarre films they yearly wrangle as “genre films,” claiming FFest is a “genre festival.” Okay, maybe…but don’t all films lands somewhere in a give genre? Sci-fi, horror, documentary,  animation, crime drama, sex film, etc. They’re all genres, GUH!

I think of Fantastic Fest as a yearly face dive deep in the fringes of exploitation cinema, as in the marginal movies which employ extreme sex, violence & taboo subject material. The good exploitation films challenge my sense. The best exploitation films disturb me and shake my way of thinking.

My favorite zombie films of Fantastic Fest 2009 go as follows:

1. The Revenant – Unpredictable zombie buddy action comedy from Kerry Prior.
2. [Rec] 2 – Spanish supernatural sequel to the terrifying original masterpiece.
3. Full Employment aka “Arbeit für Alle” – German short that will grab you by the gonads.
4. Zombieland – Post-post apocalyptic Hollywood horror well worth watching from reality TV & talk show makers.
5. Daybreakers – Not sure if high functioning super-mod vampires driving around in tricked out Chryslers qualify as zombies, but the fanged reanimated dead do drink blood cappuccinos! Totally creative take on old mythology from the talented Spierig brothers who brought us Undead.
6. Doghouse – British mutant zombie comedy /slash/ commentary on gender relations.

My favorite non-zombie films of Fantastic Fest 2009 go a little something like this:

1. Fish Story aka “Fisshu sutôrî” – An apocalyptic tale for true music lovers.
2. Stingray Sam – An episodic musical western in space!
3. Kenny Begins – Basically a live action Space Quest starring the Swedish Roger Wilco.
4. Consoul – Norwegian short done in 8-bit pixel animation.
5. A Town Called Panic aka “Panique au village” – Simple but wonderfully absurd French animation.
6. House (1977) aka “Hausu” – Mind melting with many similarities to Evil Dead.

Check out the amazing 2D cutout backdrops in “Evelyn: The Cutest Evil Dead Girl.” The video is a bit more adorable angst-ridden goth than sexy suicide girl. Feels like a live action Henry Selick animation. Good work, human slaves!