The movie contains nothing truly new to the zombie genre, aside from exotic rural terrain rarely seen on film. My favorite moment involves one of the main characters comically inching around a nearly immobilized zombie, hoping on broken legs. Seems laughable until the severely broken corpses crawls its way to your death. Best to live in the country, rural, outback, boonies. THE DEAD presents a spacious and endlessly hazardous world of the cannibal undead.

The trailer seems to insinuate some kind of racial bias like the poorly considered character aesthetics of Resident Evil 5, thankfully skin color doesn’t play an idiotic roll in the story. Neither does believable acting or compelling action sequences. Not without effort, THE DEAD flops like a dying fish on the stinky boat dock of movie horror. Rent it.

Trust any movie that allows for a slow motion father-son zombie sack race. Zombieland stays goofy like Evil Dead II while constantly supplying high quality bile-spewing gore. Coming from backgrounds in music videos, late night talk shows & reality TV, the director/writers team decided to segment cinematic moments into mini rock n’ roll montages. Perfect for a zombie fan with a short attention span.

Normally I shutter at the Hollywood habit of gluing disjointed episodes together and charging box office prices, as was the case of the wayward Resident Evil movie franchise. Here, it works!

Zombieland holds up from start to end, most especially for those well-versed in the mythic language of the zombie. Jesse Eisenberg narrates in a coming-of-age tone a la Wonder Years, plainly laying out the rules to survival in a post-human world dominated by the walking dead using a playfully comic motion graphic text. My favorite rule: “Double Tap” -– meaning committing one extra bullet or blunt object-to-the-head in order to make extra sure that Mr. Zombie doesn’t relive for a final dramatic attack.

Zombies of this world maneuver with inconsistent speed and intelligence. Director Ruben Fleischer explained that each zombie turns at a different stage of rigamortis and decay, thus producing a variety of zombies types. Zombieland is not going to change your political outlook or stop you from fucking that chicken. What it will do is entertain both the horror novice and the most jaded zombie expert.

There’s a wonderful celebrity zombie cameo… Don’t look it up, just see the damn movie!

Q: What famous zombie would you like to be eaten by?
I wouldn’t mind being disemboweled by past U.S. presidents like Zombie JFK or Zombie Lincoln.

…new gameplay from the original zombie video game franchise. I hope you have a PS3 or Xbox 360!